I am not the saint of love i am rather the shadow that is just following where ever she goes. where ever there is light you will find me where ever there isn’t i will be everywhere but you will only see me if you try to search for me .i was the deepness of the ocean that could not be reduced and shouldn’t be misconsidered but after meeting you i became the silence of the clouds which made me think whether was i that deep so i tried to jump inside this but i got drowned in the tranquillity of the deep ocean and am not able to swim up back to the surface because every time i try to remember where was the mistake i want to go to the root. and  am drowned again. 

 the thoughts make me so high that i am lost in the amazon trying to look for you. every day seems as a thousand years have passed. the silence of the nature cannot be redeemed because it is more beautiful than anything you can search for but when i saw you i was lost in the beauty for your eyes and dimples. the smile of a teddy bear , the cheeks of cute baby, the attitude of a pup ..... the best for me. you were really the one for me the only thing i didn’t knew was that you won’t ever think this way i am sorry to my present because of me you have suffered a lot. i am the past . hello. 

i go on a walk every day to the same spot where we first met to see you to have a glimpse of the thing that totally changed me . totally pulled my trigger and now i am a gun without a bullet and won’t ever fire until i get one . but since you are the one so now i am useless to everyone. i won’t say anything to you cuz if i will this could  make me lose any future opportunity to meet you and see you smile again.so i wont. thinking about you makes me cry because you were the only thing who could make me happy but do you know why am not trying to contact you that is beacuse this could make you unhappy and your happiness is above mine . so let it flow, you be happy and i be happy too. like i said i am your shadow so you are my begining and the end too.if you think this hadow thing is fake then try looking for me on the streets and you will find me where you want me to be.i am lost ... totally lost among  the trees of this jungle and am not able to get out of this world of fakeness.

do you remember the time when we used to sit in the class and talk about the things.... the best time spent in the school. the best day of my life was when i was with you in the mall. in the Mc Donalds. the time flied and made me this. but its ok because you dont know in which situation I am in. the thing is I don’t even want to tell you about any of this because if I will you will know and I don’t want this to happen again .

all of the gaurds and the protectors of love are having a fight with me on this very topic. They are making me aware that I am losing one of the best opportunity. But what I feel is that doing this wont hurt you and you will be happy with that guy but you know what I too will be happy seeing you happy. All the unicorns I know and all the angels too are appreciating me on this but they are the only ones who are forcing me to  be with you . you have changed I didn’t and I wont ever. My love is deeper than I have went in my life and I will try to be more deep so that I will be the man who never moved.

I want some things from my life and that is just being me and nothing else but you know what this attitude of mine has changed me from there to here. The best thing what a man can do in this situation is just to make you and your cared ones happy.

Sometimes life gives you a lot of failures on just one day which makes you speechless. The failures I recently faced was that I didn’t get selected I the frosh team 17 . that was my dream place . but you know what this situation would come a lot of time in the future. I made it till the last step but I don’t know what happened but now that thing is past and cannot be interpreted. Moreover my teacher told that my attendance is short which brought me up to the brim of the ocean and tied with the ropes. I just cant do . I am at a critical point where you can get detained. But just being positive for now, I can relate that not getting selected in the frosh team and getting on the verge of detention was meant to be for me may be if I got selected …. and I would have got detained in some subjects  due to short attendance. So I just have to be positive for the time span ……. Whatever that will happen, will happen for good. So lets study for the end sems of 2^nd sem. And lets give it the best shot.

Today the detained list got public among the crowd and my name wasn’t there … yeah!. This  thing that happened to me just to tell me and make me aware that not attending classes and not studying could destroy my dream to be the best in this world .. so I am happy for whatever happened . though it gave me goosebumps for a while. The thought of getting detained made me overthink my actions and thus was quite depressed but since I didn’t got selected in the frosh team is still affecting me but the fact that I am motivated is suppressing that thought. i am happy .*for now*.